A Beautiful Mess

Well. Isn’t that an oxymoron? How could something or someone be both beautiful, and a mess at the same time? How can someone look young on the outside, but feel so broken in the inside? If you don’t already know or can’t imagine relating to this beautiful mess, then let me introduce myself. 

Hello, my name is Nicole Buford also known as Flower. I’m a 45 years young, single mother of one amazing daughter. I met Nia when my daughter was in high school. I realized quickly we had two things in common, our love for the Lord and our love for my daughter. She has been a source of counsel, refuge, and strength when we are weak and need someone to go to without judgment. My daughter is now 24. In two months, she will be graduating from college with her Bachelors of Science in Biology. I’m so proud of her. Nia has been there all the way praying for her. I was honored at being asked to write for the blog because Nia has been such an influence for both myself and my daughter. 

Celebrating the Harvest

It seemed like a dream when the Lord brought us back to the city of Zion. We celebrated with laughter and joyful songs. In foreign nations, it was said, “The Lord has worked miracles for his people.” And so, we celebrated because the Lord had indeed worked miracles for us. Psalm 126:1-3

When I had my daughter, I decide to change my life. I decided I would be the best mother possible. I truly believed in Psalms 127:3 “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” I taught her the Lord’s Prayer, took her to Sunday school, and church. I also started to obsess and focus on things that didn’t matter. So much so, that it became exhausting by the time she was in middle school because after all, I was a single parent. All I needed to do was enjoy the miracle and celebrate in the Lord, but instead I was trying to control everything. It wasn’t my job to do God’s job.

Without the help of the Lord, it is useless to build a home or to guard a city. It is useless to get up early and stay up late to earn a living. God takes care of his own, even while they sleep. Psalm 127:1-2

I had made so many decisions thinking they were the best for my child. In reality, they were to fill something within me but God had another plan. I had turned my beautiful gift from God into a mess by focusing on the world and worrying. God had to show me He was present in my mess, self-doubt, and insecurity. When my daughter was around age 3, someone broke into our home while we were sleeping. Two days earlier, God had instructed me to create an evacuation plan and I hoped I would never have to use it. I did not understand. Needless to say, we made it to safety. I did not doubt that it was the work of the Lord. Also, I realized that had it not been for Him on my side, things would have turned out very differently. Most importantly, God taught me to trust Him even when I don’t understand. Could you imagine how this situation may have turned out had I not listened and made the emergency evacuation plan? God showed me that in spite of myself, He never intended for me to be perfect. God has no requirement for us to win His love. Likewise, there was nothing I needed to do to earn my daughter’s love. There was never a competition. He has enough love to clean up all of our messes. We are so blessed to have the help/protection of the Lord and to be a part of his family because He takes care of His own.

Points to Ponder: 

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises in her! Luke 1:45 

It’s easy to follow God and believe when we know where we are going and know what the promises are. When required will you hold on to His word when things in front of you don’t look as promised?

Walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 

Are you able to walk by blind faith when required? Believe me, this is a scary thing to do and sometimes paralyzing but very necessary. At some point in our lives, God is going to ask us to move without giving us a reason and we want to understand. Will you be able to go without understanding?

What mess would you be in without God without God’s grace and mercy? How would you escape it?

If you know God is the head of your life and you have put Him first in your life, then good for you. You have nothing to worry about. If you have not and don’t know what steps to take or what direction to go in, remember this: Without the help of the Lord, it is useless to build a home, to work in vain daily, and to stay up worrying late at night. To have the peace of God and experience His grace and mercy all you need to do is ask God to come into your heart and save your life. Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth.


Father God, I pray that you will bless each and everyone who is reading this today. Lord, you know what they need. I pray that they will learn to respect you and obey your laws. I pray that their fields will produce a good harvest and more than they have room enough to receive. I pray that they are happy, in good health, and have sound minds. I pray that all is well with them and all that they love, as long as they live. I pray that they teach their children to respect you and that they live long enough to see their grandchildren. I pray for peace in their homes. Lord, please allow them to continue to live under your grace and mercy. I ask these things in the name of your son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Prayer inspired by Psalms 128:1-6 CEV

Published by Flower

I'm still trying to figure that out after 45 years. What I can definitely tell you with certainty is that I am a God seed-bearing, producer of one spoiled young adult. Oh, and sometimes I walk blindly... Are you able to walk by blind faith when required? Believe me, it's a scary thing to do and sometimes paralyzing but very necessary. 2 Corinthians 5:7 - Please take a moment to read my post and experience God's work in something I did not understand.

2 thoughts on “A Beautiful Mess

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